Forget the fine art of shurtling! I have started training in the martial art of Tiggeroo.
This is a deadly form of combat that I have created myself by combining the strength of the sheepie paw with the claws of the tiger and the boxing paw of the kangaroo, I am from Australia you see. I have added an extra 'g' to the name in honour of myself as the creator of this amazing form of self defence.
For those of you who would like to achieve a black belt in Tiggeroo ........................ listen up grasshoppers!
As with any martial art the element of surprise is helpful so it pays to wait until your upright isn't paying attention or is otherwise occupied and then you combine the claws of the tiger with the speed of the kangaroo and the power of sheepie paw bashing.
I was amazed at the result when I first attempted this manoeuvre. My upright had knelt down to do my topknot and was taking too long about it so I gave her the Tiggeroo paw. Wow, it almost hurt my ears she yelped so loud and the swearing was dreadful. It took a full two weeks for the black and purple bruising around the large red welts to begin to fade and three weeks later there are still some bits of bruising left. My upright is complaining about the small haematoma that is left there. I'm not sure what that is but she rubs at her leg and complains about the lump under the skin.
My upright threatened to take a photo of her injuries and send it to the sheepie police but she decided that photos of her leg might offend so she just mutters to herself about it. So for those of you who enjoy your martial arts you need to try this one out it is awesome. Simple but deadly!!
