I gave my Mum a heart attack today.

Today was a lovely sunny 24 degrees celcius and my Mum got home from work early. So she broke her "no white wine during the week" rule. I really don't get this rule, I think if it tastes nice you should have as much as you can get. But in my expert opinion it tastes like medicine, so I'd be avoiding the stuff, but I digress.

The front of my house faces west so my Mum and Dad took their bottle of wine out to sit on the front veranda in the sun. This is a very good thing because they shut the front gate and let Rastus and I out in the weeny little front garden to snuff around. It's really fun!!!

My Mum has always said I'm too smart for my own good and she forgot that I'm really good at opening gates. Due to all the rain we've had after a decade of drought, lots of wooden things are swelling, including the front gate. So Mum  pushed it shut hard but while she was chatting and sipping a lovely sauvignon blanc from the Marlborough region of New Zealand (Mum says I'm to tell David and Kim that they should join her), I was busy behind the big rosemary bush checking out the gate.

It was most unfortunate that my Mum noticed me making a dash up the footpath. You see I figured out how to get my nose behind the gate and get it open and I know there are cats a couple of doors up and they need a good chasing to let them know that I am a sheep herding boss. But unfortunately I never made it to the cats. I think my Mum was faster off the mark than me. My Dad was still sitting on the outdoor bench wondering what happened and my Mum was already out the gate and after me.

Being the well mannered girl that I am (it was nothing to do with the fact that the cats had already disappeared) I came back when my Mum called me and before I realised it I was back in the titchy front yard with the gate firmly wedged shut.

So sad really, I think I missed out on a great adventure.

My brother made a BIG mistake!

Rastus, my dalmo brother made a big mistake the other day!!

He got to chewing his itchy feet on the sofa again which always makes my Mum a little grumpy as he makes the leather all wet and manky and then it rips.

He must have completely forgotten where he was because after he'd chewed his feet enough that he'd made the hole in the leather a bit bigger he decided to eat chunks out of the foam rubber. He made quite a big hole in the cushion and there were bite size chunks of foam all over. I could see my Mum was really cross when she got home from earning the dog food. (by the way I really want to visit this place where the dog food comes from). My Mum didn't tell him off she said it was too late. She took a picture and sent it to my Dad and my Grandma and then she just cleaned it up.

But then Rastus did something REALLY, REALLY DUMB!! He got up on the sofa, sat right next to my Mum and took a big chomp out of the foam rubber. Wow, how dumb can you get! My Mum really told him off for that.

But get this, the dumbness gets better. A little while later my Dad came home and sat on the sofa and Rastus did it again, another big chomp out of the foam. My Dad didn't notice. He's pretty good at not noticing stuff, like when I want to go outside and when Rastus is chewing his feet. But my Mom was sitting on the other sofa and she notices, so Rastus got another good scolding.

Well my Mum had obviously had enough so she's banned Rastus from the sofas. I thought she was kidding herself when she said that. Keep Rastus off the sofas? NO WAY, he loves the sofas!! But she really meant it so now there is a bit of X-pen stretched across the front of each sofa and Rastus can't get on them.

He's being such a baby about it. He walks around whining and sooking and he can't settle down. Every time Mum or Dad open the X-pen so they can sit down he rushes over and tries to squeeze past. Of course they never let him.

He has a lovely bed all of his own, except that Rowdy the cat likes it too. This is a picture of me testing it out for him. I don't really like beds though I'd rather sleep on the cool tile. Mind you dalmo's are tragically lacking in the hair department. Rastus's tummy is BALD! So maybe that's why he is so weird about wanting to sleep on the sofas.

Maybe he doesn't like his bed 'cause it's pink but he does get in it sometimes.

He fits better than me, so Rowdy shares with him.

Anyway I hope he gets over this sofa thing soon, because I don't think my Mum is going to back down on this one and having a moping, whinging dalmo about the place is starting to get on my nerves.

I need a job!

It's raining today. I don't like it when it rains. I don't get to go anywhere fun!

Now that the weather is warmer my uprights have been taking me in the car more often. I love going places in the car, there's so many new things to see and smell. My especial favorite trip is going in the car to Brunetti's coffee shop.

We drive to the coffee shop and sit outside at a table on the footpath. Lots of people stop and talk to me and pat me while my uprights drink coffee and Italian hot chocolate. And then if I'm really good I get a little bit of the Italian pastry that they've selfishly scoffed down between them. I really think it would be more fair if we went thirds, but it never happens.

Well, I've decided that really this is how things should be all the time. As I've just mentioned my uprights are selfish! They have the cheek and the gall to go for car trips without me. So this week I hit on a plan!!! Whenever the baby gate that stops Rastus and I from getting out of the living area is ajar, I run and wait in the corridor that leads to the front door. You see then there's NO WAY the uprights can not understand that I'm coming too.

They've started offering me biscuits to go on my bed. And I WONT, no way! Bed is boring I'm going for the car trip thanks. Today my Mom did something surprising, she just left me in the corridor and went out the back door then round to the front and off in the car.

Harumph!! The nerve.

I forgave her when she got home though. And waited excitedly right inside the front door for her to come in. Rastus came down too. She didn't look too pleased when she realised she'd forgotten to shut the baby gate after me, so Rastus went and slept on the bed. I think he might have ruined everything actually.

She was muttering something about "not all beer and skittles" and "have to go to work and earn the dog food." And worse ....... more "in your bed" training.

Does anyone have a job for an old english sheepdog? I'm happy to go to work everyday if I get to ride in the car! A job with Italian pastries involved would be nice but I'll consider any offer.

Cats might be mental but they ARE good for something.

As I posted in my first post, I think cats are a little bit mental. They do on occasion prove useful however. Mainly due to the fact that they can jump and climb higher than me. In the past Rowdy, the siamese cat, and I have collaborated in theivery. This is his picture so you will know who to look for if things go missing from your pantry.

Our best joint effort was the time Rowdy climbed all the pantry shelves to get the cat biscuits and knocked the container down so I could get the lid off and we ate up all the biscuits for a snack. We were very kind we even shared with Rastus, our dalmatian brother. Rowdy still complains that he didn't get his fair share but I can't help it if he eats slow.

Today we collaborated again. My upright was fixing up her aquarium. It has been neglected in favour of agility, obedience and herding classes, which is as it should be. Apparently it's also due to grooming me every week which may be taking things a little too far. I'm happy to skip the grooming, no probleemo.

Part of the fixing up of the tank involved ripping out lots of overgrown plants and replacing them, which required a trip to the aquarium shop. She brought all the stuff back home and then rushed off to an appointment. So Rowdy helped out again. He jumped up on the aquarium and got down the new packet of fish food. Rowdy and I have done this before and I liked the fish food last time. The fish already had a little taste and they liked it a lot, so I figured it was probably pretty good.

It didn't take me long to get the packet open and finish all the food. Apparently it would have lasted the fish ages but they're littler than me, with littler tummies. When my upright got home she found the empty packet on the floor near my bed. I looked innocent and stared at Rowdy, he deserved it, he was complaining too much about me eating all the fish food myself.

But the ruse didn't work apparently I have "fish breath".

Oh well, at least it's not sheep poop breath. There were lots of dogs at herding eating it but I abstained because I'm a good girl. (Except for the fish food).

Woe is me!!

I am in the depths of despair! Well I am now, I wasn't before while I was at the football field chasing my squeaky ball. But now that I'm home again, I've been lying on my bed and looking sad and hurt at my upright in the hopes of convincing her that its all WRONG!!

I don't think looking sad is going to work so I'm here to tell you how mean my upright is. It's been raining cats and even dogs here for a couple of days now, so everything is very wet and muddy. I have been holding on for hours and then rushing out to the back court yard and tippy toeing on the concrete when I need to pee or poop. Ick, its all wet on my tooties out there. For those of you who are wondering, wet, muddy football fields are completely different. Don't ask me why, they just are OK!

This morning my upright checked out the website for my favorite place in the whole world, Diggers Herding and K9 Education. Here is the web address: http://herding.webs.com/ They have a facebook page where there are even pictures of me. You can't miss me, I'm the big, hairy, grey and white, gorgeous dog. Well, they said its a bit muddy there, so what, what's a bit of mud. Apparently its black, volcanic, clay mud, well that sounds like it'd probably be very good for my skin. I think I should be out there right now, chasing sheep and improving my complexion.

But NO, my upright says that clay stains and it will be too big a job to get me clean, so we are not going. Patooie who cares! Dirt should never stop a girl from having fun, I say. But seeing as I can't drive I'm stuck here.

Oh well, I hope you're all having a fun weekend and that you have some sheep handy where there is no mud. I am off to stare at the cat now. As soon as I've stared him into running, I will pretend he is a sheep and herd him a bit. Problem is he keeps getting behind the gate where I can't reach him.

I discovered the purpose of the Universe!

Last Saturday I had the best day of my life!!!

I discovered the purpose of the Universe or at the very least, the reason for my obsession with chasing. I have always been obsessed with chasing. I chase dogs big or small, I chase birds, nope haven't caught one yet AND I chase cats. Woo hoo they're fun!

I regularly catch the siamese cat that my people have kindly provided for my chasing pleasure. Its fantastic, I give him a nice sheepie-spit mohawk and then release him so he's ready for me to chase at a later time. I think there's something wrong with him. He runs, so of course I chase, but then he looks really grumpy when I catch him. Go figure. Cats, I think they're a little bit mental!

But back to last Saturday. My upright took me in the car to the country. I've been there before (the country in general, not this bit specifically) and I like it. There's lots of space and grass and smells. But this bit of country is heaven. Its got ............... SHEEP!!!!!!!!

Quite a lot of sheep. Sheep that I got to chase, yep actually chase. I took one look at those sheeps (there were four of them in a pen especially for me) and that was it, I was off. I herded those sheep, I was the boss. I have discovered the purpose of the universe.

THE UNIVERSE IS HERE SO THAT SHEEP CAN BE HERDED.

It's quite obvious to me now that I know what sheep are. Prior to meeting sheep on Saturday I was unsure of my purpose but its all become clear to me now. I exist to direct sheep, they are silly creatures who need to be shown where to go and that is where I come in. I most definitely directed those sheep.

I was a bit late to my appointment with destiny, my upright got lost, AGAIN. So everyone else was already there. Lots of kelpies and border collies and variations thereof. They all looked at me with bemusement. They really thought that bringing a fluffy dog with a beautiful pink hair tie in her topknot to herd sheep was silly. One upright even suggested that it would be hard to tell which were the sheep and which was me.

But I showed 'em. I was the one in control, I was the one making sure those sheep new the drill. There was no doubt about it I am a sheepdog and I was born to herd sheep.