Last Monday night was my first week back at agility training in forever. My agility servant had the cheek and the gall to leave me behind and go on holiday so I missed three weeks. I was very excited to be returning and despite my agility servants worries that I would be overly enthusiastic and silly I proved her wrong. I focused on the job at hand and only missed one jump and our instructor said that was because the servant hasn't built enough value for me working on the right side of the reinforcement zone. I totally blame all those boring days at obedience training where I stayed on the left and speed was not on the agenda but that's a whole 'nother story for another day.
Anyways I was waiting my turn to jump and tunnel and playing by the rules and focusing on my servant (it was the treats really but don't go telling her that. She'll just get depressed) and NOT barking at the other dogs while they ran the tunnel. When all of a sudden, completely out of the blue, the sneaky terrierist launched a pre-emptive attack.
One second I was focused on the treat in my servant's hand and the next I was hit in the side by a heat seeking cruise missile with teeth. Despite copping a direct hit I of course immediately launched a counter attack with a short range teeth seeking missile but unfortunately due to the stealth attack by the terrierist it was not only way to late to take evasive action but it was impossible to hit the enemy target without incurring massive collateral damage .......... to myself
.
I tried evasive manoeuvres despite being hampered by the agility servant on the end of the lead and I tried going on the offensive. But having the agility servant backing up with my lead, stymied my best attempts at self defense. I was unable to lock onto the terrierist, let alone get a hit.
The sneaky little beast of a terrierist had come up with a very clever strategy! He had attacked without provocation, from an unexpected direction and then used his electromagnetic teeth to clamp on to my ventral surface (chest hair you fool!) so that I was unable to retaliate as I couldn't reach the little sod while he was clinging under my chest.
Fortunately the hot headed fool had acted without the sanction of his superior officer who called off the attack before an damage was done. The last I saw of the renegade terrierist (after he was dragged off me by his left back leg that is) he was being subject to disciplinary action for insubordination.
There was a silver lining! Everyone from the instructor, to the other agility servants, was very worried about me and offered words of encouragement and praise for my bravery whilst telling my servant (who really didn't take the whole affair seriously enough if you ask me) to make sure I was OK and check out my under carriage for any damage. She did check it out but I heard her telling the instructor that she didn't think the terrierist had long enough teeth to do any damage through my coat.
Well that's sympathy for you isn't? Here am I injured in the line of duty and what do I get? Jokes and frivolity. It's really not acceptable!!! I deserved the purple heart and probably a medal of valor too, but no I got jokes.
Well it's a week off again today so I'll let you know if the terrierist tries anything sneaky again next week. Keep your eyes peeled you never know where a terrierist might be hiding.
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